I'm sitting here watching the Michael Brown Memorial on MSNBC and it's very moving. I'm trying to balance what I see and what I feel with the racism that has exploded online after the murder of this young unarmed black 18 year old. There are those who are applauding his murder. They don't give a damn about the circumstances. A black boy has been killed and they are over the moon. Yes. There are some sick, twisted, extremely racist bastards in this country. COWARDS all of them. Hiding behind computer screens. I've seen the most awful, hateful, and racist rhetoric online in the past couple of days.
The eyes of the world are upon America and I wonder what must they be thinking. America will always struggle with race. I believe that now. More so than any other place in the world, America for all of is glory, simply can't come to terms with race.
Travesties like this bring out the racists and the ugly underbelly of American racism is exposed. I've always known it was there. I've been called 'Nigger' in my life more times than I care to count. I've spoken to other blacks who have been called the same. As black Americans, there are those who resent our American-ness. Many of these individuals hold very influential positions in society and they only express their real views online, with their identities shrouded in secrecy.
Its difficult for me to not hold hatred against all whites. I have never seen a black person applaud the murder of a CHILD of any race. Even the white race. Racism is a curious thing. Its difficult to explain but it takes over and controls the psyche of a person. It can consume a person.
To think there are individuals out there who hate the fact that I, and other blacks, dare to EXIST. They don't believe we even have a right to LIVE.
Its pure evil.
Blacks face tremendous circumstances in this country. We are not viewed as fully human or fully American. We are targeted by the criminal justice system and are preyed upon by businesses. We are resented in corporate America and often offered jobs on the lower tier of companies we apply for regardless of our qualifications.
Every single job I've had in Dallas, Texas I have had to report to whites who had less education and less experience than myself. It's been the same for my friends. As one of my coworkers once told me, its "just the way things are". In 2014, imagine that?
We have a black President and racism is at its highest level in many years. There are many Americans that are thankfully beyond race. However there is a significant segment of this country that sees the advancement of minorities (especially blacks) as a direct assault on their privilege and power.
I have battled depression because of the racism I've faced. Now more than ever I understand the absolute necessity of starting my own business and forging my own path. Its difficult for me to work around whites now because I'm tired of their lies and double talk. I'm tired of being offered positions far under my capabilities because the white men in the executive suite are simply not comfortable with a black person working in close proximity to them in a high position. It all comes down to TRUST.
They would rather train a lesser qualified white guy than promote a higher qualified black guy. That's really all it is.
I'm tired of seeing these privileged entitled sons of bitches enjoying the fruits of MY LABOR while I (WE - Black Americans) STRUGGLE off of the scraps they pay us; while their wives sit home and enjoy their six figure salaries.
Hell - I'm tired of IT ALL.
America faces a conundrum. Either we blacks get JUSTICE and FULL EQUALITY or we will make sure this country never has any peace. We are tired of being discriminated against because God has made our skin DARK. We are tired of being gunned down and slaughtered while this nation DOES NOTHING. We are tired of being at the mercy of these crooked sons of bitches. They slaughter and target US. Our lives mean something. Our lives were given by GOD. How dare these redneck, cowardly sons of bitches target us to enrich themselves financially as they always have. Think of slavery. Black lives only meant something so long as whites could PROFIT OFF OF US.
Black Wall Street was bombed by whites when they saw blacks were pulling together and becoming self sufficient and economically empowered the whites came together and BURNED the black businesses.
Whites don't want us out from under their thumbs, thinking independently of what any redneck wants us to think. Removing their POWER. The white man has always been about control. He wants to control - he NEVER wants to be EQUAL. When blacks start our own businesses we REMOVE HIS CONTROL.
They don't want us to be self sufficient. They claim blacks are lazy but refuse to hire us when we want to work. Plus those lazy bastards went across the Atlantic to get FREE LABOR anyway. While they propped up in easy jobs and lived like aristocrats while BLACKS DID ALL THE WORK. Everything out the white man's mouth has proven to be a HYPOCRITICAL LIE. They claim blacks are 'entitled' but reserve the top slots for fellow white people while pushing us in positions at the bottom.
I am tired. We are Tired. Change must come NOW.
