So why in the hell is it so hard? Partly because there are a whole lot of invisible barriers standing in your way. For instance ...
|Although if you actually have shit sculptures, that will probably get you blacklisted as well.|
No way that could ever go wrong. But even if you're not on a blacklist, there's a good chance that
When the unemployment rate skyrockets, it creates a buyer's market for employers -- whenever they post a new opening, they have scads of people scrambling to fill it. Luckily (for them, not for you), most companies these days use applicant tracking system (ATS) software to help them deal with the influx of applications. What this means for you is that your resume very likely will never land in front of human eyeballs. The robot can send it right to the trash if its software decides you're not up to snuff.
The Web is rife with checklists on how to beat the ATS and get your resume seen -- how and where to use keywords, minimizing graphics, and the exact wording to use for your resume's section headers, to list a few examples. So go ahead and add "SEO Expert" to your work experience, because that's what you'll have to be to have any hope of getting your resume in front of a human.
For skilled, perfectly able people -- like the 330,000 long-term unemployed in Illinois alone -- the longer they go without being able to find work, the less attractive they become to potential employers. As John Challenger, CEO of an outplacement firm in Chicago, put it:
The thing is when explaining what you did the company will never ask you if you were the CEO. If they don't ask this information (as they won't) don't supply it. Tell them what you did whether it was you were responsible for driving company growth through new customer/account acquisitions or you were responsible for integrating the companies' computer systems, etc. they won't know and they can't "Disprove" you never did any of these things. When they ask for your supervisor, give them a name (of a family member and friend) and have your 1-800 number set up to forward to their cell/home. Advise them of what to say. Many businesses are set up and started by FRIENDS and FAMILY. Actually the MAJORITY of them are. Facebook was started by Friends. So was Microsoft. Those guys worked for one another. So technically this wouldn't be lying. If you are asked did you report to someone say yes and give their name. This is not lying as who is to say you didn't answer on certain things to another person and that they didn't answer to you on certain things?
Starting your own business is also a great way to check your own references from previous employers. I've done this many times.